I’ve met two soul mates in my life time and both of them have been friends. The definition of a soulmate in the dictionary is; a person with whom one has a deep natural affinity.
Have you ever met someone that you felt completley comfortable with. Someone that you didn’t need to question why or how they came into your life, it was just fate, no rhyme or reason just meant to be?
Like I said, I have experienced this twice in my time but what’s sad is that neither of these people are permenant fixtures in my life right now. They came into my life like lightening and left much the same. I am still friends with both but we are not as close as we once were. I do believe in fate though and know that the experience of those 2 friendships and the feelings they bought me will last a life time long after they have gone.
Losing a friendship is often more devastating than losing a romantic relationship. Friends are the people we chose as family, people we entrust the most intimate parts of our lives with. Soul mates are much the same but they equate to a more intense experience of friendship. In both instances the feelings I felt when they disintegrated are not even describable. When you go through a break up you have the usual emotions; crying, anger, denial etc and then eventually after some time it starts to hurt less and you get up and you move on. With a friendship or a soulmate it really is like the old cliche. Its like losing a limb, a part of you, and though you may cry and feel angry and all those other emotions they just never go away, you never move on. Instead the feeling of emptiness and hopelessness just sits there in your gut until they come back.
I’m lucky that I have some really great friends. Some I’ve known since childhood and others new. My circle is small but I wouldnt change that. I’d rather have a few quality frienships then a dozen snakes. Each one of my friends has something special about them and each one brings something different to my life; whether its a shoulder to cry on, advice, someone I can laugh with or someone to go out and have fun with. These friends are worth their weight in gold to me, they help me navigate my way through life and i honestly don’t know where I’d be without them.
When you find a soul mate though, you find the complete package. You know their heart and they know yours. You form a bond that could never break despite; time, distance or words. There is no explanation for why you fit, you just do. I think thats amazing, that out of the billions of people on this earth you can find someone that completes you.
Having lost the two friends that I consider soul mates, I have this empty feeling inside me, like something is missing in life. These girls came into my life and despite my short comings they picked me up when I was on my knees, supported me through hell and back when I felt there was no way out, enriched my days with laughter and loved me without expectation even on the days when I wasn’t very lovable. Despite the challenges and the arguments which is inevitable in any relationship including a friendship I love them both unconditionally. I will always treasure every moment that they are in my life even though those times are scarce these days and I want them to know that no matter how far away we may be from eachother in distance and heart right now, I will always be here with open arms waiting to pick up that friendship where it was left.
People change and friendships change that is inevitable because life is fast and confusing as hell, but if you find someone you have a connection with beyond rhyme or reason then you should fight for it right? We are always being told in love storys to fight and we always see some big gesture where the guy ends up getting the girl. So why can’t this happen in friendships too?
Im not saying that I’d like big gestures, nor for things to be swept under the carpet with my friends. Im saying that im willing to have those difficult conversations and im willing to compromise, forgive eachother and move forward in the hope that those special connections come back.
I dont really know where I was going with this post except to talk about how much I appreciate friendship even if I don’t always show it. If you find yourself a true friend, never stop trying and never stop loving even through the rough times when it would be so easy to give up and find a replacement, because true friendship and soul mates are rare and could never be replaced.
I miss you both…
True friends stay forever, beyond words, beyond distance, beyond time.
I will always love you xxx