The real measure of your wealth, is how much you would be worth if you lost all your money…

I’m sat here again watching indecent proposal. What is it now, the 10th time, hmm maybe it’s more. It’s an old 90’s film but anyone who has ever watched this film will know why it’s one of my favourites and why I keep coming back to it, and those who haven’t go and watch it – immediately not least because Demi Moore is the main character!

So a bit of back story – The film is based on a couple David and Diana. They have been crazy about each other since high school and if there was an advert for being in love these two would be it. When they fall on hard times, they are made an offer from a wealthy business man (Robert Redford) of 1 million dollars to spend one night with Diana. They accept the deal and the story is essentially about how long term relationships can survive the course and whether money can really buy you love.

That question of whether money can buy you love intrigues me. My answer – NO of course it can’t. The question of what lengths someone would go to for a million pounds also has me thinking and of course the question of what love can survive pulls me back into the movie every time. When I watch the film it always has me questioning what I would do in that situation. Granted being offered money for a night with a millionaire is quite frankly unrealistic but the consequences of that decision for anyone leaves my mind in emotional chaos.

So the first question. Can money buy you love?

In my opinion NO. I have always been of that opinion. I am an advocate of love and money means nothing to me. What is money if you don’t have anyone to share it with right? I’ve never been fortunate to have a lot of money so I guess my answer comes from only experiencing love in my lifetime. The concept in the film of Diana giving up her love for David for a lavish lifestyle doesn’t sit well with me at all. I’ve never been one to rely on a man for money. I work hard and I finance myself, that’s how I’ve always been, somehow being reliant on a man to provide for me makes me feel weak, because if it all came crumbling down what would I have left? Not money, because that can be taken in an instant, but love, love is something that remains even after its gone, it remains inside. I can’t answer this question on behalf of everyone because love means different things to different people, but for me I could have nothing but the clothes on my back and still feel as rich as can be if I had someone to love and someone who loves me.

Money is material, love is a feeling – they are different. They can evoke similar feelings but ultimately for me love will always win.

What would I do for a million pounds? So above I just said how money doesn’t mean anything to me right, but that doesn’t mean to say that if I had it I wouldn’t enjoy it! I would never chose money over love but if I was offered a million pounds, what would I chose to give up for it? For me money is a means to live, people would be lying if they said that they didn’t want the security that money can bring. It would be lovely to wake up and have a nice house, nice belongings and not have the worry about bills each month, but for me money is something you work for. Spending money for me is always sweeter when I have worked hard for it. When I work hard and save up to buy something I really need I enjoy it more than if I was to just be handed it on a plate. So my honest answer is I wouldn’t give anything up right now for a million, but that’s conjecture maybe if a serious offer was on the table I may just change my mind ;-).

And the last question – What can love survive? This is the one I think about the most. It bothers me that these day’s people don’t fight for their relationships. Don’t get me wrong I’m guilty of it myself. Somehow these days it’s easy to chuck the towel in and tell yourself that life is too short to be in an unhappy relationship. But what does unhappy mean? I think that part gets confused. Unhappy is not having a few fights along the way, it’s not facing a few challenges or curveballs that life throws our way and it’s not getting fed up of the annoying things our partners do, those things might be making you unhappy in the moment but they are temporary, they shouldn’t be the reasons we give up so quickly. I think the problem today is that people’s expectations of a happy relationship are unrealistic. Maybe the films are to blame or the lyrics of a love song. Either way people are too easy to give up on a good thing at the slightest hint of trouble. To me if you love someone with your entire being, love can survive anything. There is a scene in the film where David says to Diana “I thought we were invincible. But now I know that the things people in love do to each other they remember. And if they stay together it’s not because they forget, it’s because they forgive” that’s always a poignant moment in the film for me because it’s the moment Diana realises that he is willing to forgive not only her but himself and put their love for each other first. Love is all about forgiveness, loving the unlovable things about a person and when you truly have that, there is nothing that love can’t overcome.

So that’s what’s been playing on mind today. Ask yourself the same questions. Let me know your answers. And again if you haven’t watched this film and you’re a hopeless romantic like me – It’s raining and miserable, go watch it

Dais x

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