Google has pronounced me dead…

So anyone that knows me,knows i’m a hypercondriac! I’m worse then Dot Cotton! Slight headache = brain tumour, pain in my leg =amputation, cough more then once = lung cancer. These are genuine thoughts that go through my mind whenever i experience some kind of ill health and theres not a day that passes when i don’t feel well.

Everyone knows google is life (i literally wouldn’t get by without it), so naturally i use it when i want to check my symptoms. I’m not like a normal person who just visits the doctor when they feel ill. I do both! I google my symptoms extensivley, i do my research, i sit up half the night, as google has usually pronounced me dead and then i trundle off to the doctors and tell her my diagnosis. Only to sit infront of the doctor and be told theres nothing wrong with me its just a virus. – JUST A VIRUS – i have listed 5 out of the 6 symtoms that web md has associated with meningitis, you’ve trained for 10 years, haven’t done a single medical check on me and you feel in your professional opinion it’s JUST A VIRUS! and theres no medication you can give me. What a fucking liberty! Granted it is usually just a virus and im fine within a few days, but to just dismiss googles diagnosis like that is shocking when everyone knows google knows everything. EVERYTHING!

There is always something wrong with me. Most days i complain about some kind of ailment to the point my family make sarci comments like “there’s always something wrong with you, your always ill!” Bastards!

Yes there is always something wrong with me, i ache all over like some osteoporosis riddled grandma, i have the lung fuction of a 20 a day smoker, and i can barley get off the sofa without rolling off it and making groaning noises due to me being so fat. So yes family there IS always something wrong with me. But despite my irrational fear of death and my increasing ailments at the ripe old age of 29 i still don’t do anything to help myself and instead rely on google to make sure i’m not going to die. I feel ill, i google it, i worry, i go to the doctors (there sick of me) and the cycle repeats.

I used to read trashy magazines, you know the ones – light hearted reading, a guilty pleasure, the magazines like real people, chat and pick me up that you wouldn’t be seen dead with outside the confines of your home. I swear these magazines were where it all started. (Actually my hypercondria has always been there) but this was where it started to get out of control. There was always a story about someone who had something wrong with them – and they died, or their life had changed forever, really harrowing stuff. This was where i read the sneezing debacle. I remember one story about a guy who had stubbed his toe, a normal everyday thing you think. Most people do it more then once in their life time and their fine, no problems. NO not this guy, he stubbed his toe, got gangerine and his leg was amputated! These kinda storys stay with me because being the pessimistic bitch i am, this is the kinda unfortunate shit that would happen to me and it terrifies me! I have had to ban myself from reading these now because it was getting to the point where i would panic even doin the most menial task – constantly wondering if today is the day something bads going to happen an i WILL die. I still think like this daily, i just use google now instead of the magazines for proof that these things happen its much quicker.

So i just wanted to share a bit about something i think were all guilty of doing, its just i’m more irrational with it. On that note I’ve got heartburn so im off to check google – im taking bets on a stomach ulcer. If you see another post tomorrow it means google fucked up again and im still alive. Hurray!

Dais x

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