So.. it been a while since i wrote but as todays valentines day im feeling a bit fragile and needed to get a few things out.
Who else hates february 14th. I’ve always disliked this day even when I’m in a relationship, mainly because it’s never lived up to it’s expectations and it’s also uneccessary expense!. Valentines day is just another day for single people to feel even more shitty about their already crap lives. Well that’s my experience anyway..
So I’ve woken up this morning and i do my usual scroll through facebook like its the daily news. Instead of my feed bringing me hilarious memes that i can tag my friends in, im faced with what can only be described as pure repulsive soppy riddled statuses and pictures of loved up couples. Hashtags of #BOYDONEGOOD and #Yourmyprincess4lifebae. By the 5th post i want gouge my eyes out!
I’m bitter lets be honest, i am alone all day on this day with nobody to write soppy things too and no gifts to recieve and yes im fucking bitter. It’s not that i would even enjoy it if i was in a relationship but it would be nice to join in an not feel like a complete failure in the love stakes on just this one day.
Even those little quizes on facebook that generate you a love interest based on your profile couldn’t pull something out the bag for me this morning, granted i didn’t hold out much hope but i didn’t expect to be greeted with a blank screen. Facebook seems to have well and truley got my number, they know im faced with a life as a sad lonley cat woman too. That said however, I’m happy for every one of you celebrating this day with your loved one, really i am .
How have i reached this point, 30 and still single?? Well like the title says cupid keeps fucking it up! Some woman get tom hardy types, some even luckier ones get jamie dornan types! Me, all i want is a little danny dyer type, i dont think its too much to ask really – sexy, brooding but funny with a mix of hard and soft. But nope this man has failed to grace my doorstep and its looking more likley that I’m going to have to buy one of those grow your own man kits!
Dating is not my forte, neither is flirting, actually men full stop aren’t. I’m so disatrious at relationships that I even own a little book called “why hasn’t he called?” Its like a self help guide that points out all the things your doing wrong and what to change to bag yourself a man. I bought it one day when i was feeling the pressure of being a singleton, but i have to say the only help its provided for me is an extensive knowledge of all the things i can’t change – like my whole personality! This book is hell bent on telling me that despite all the good things i think i have going for me i am wrong, because he just won’t be that into me unless i miraculously transform into some lara croft/jennifer aniston/beyonce type broad overnight. Im in with no chance!. The book has literally destroyed me and ruined my life in 245 little page’s. Ruined!
I’m not gunna get into the nitty gritty of my love life because quite frankly I’d be here all day and i think I’d need atleast 2 bottles of rum to get through it in all honesty. But i am here just having a little rant about this crappy day hoping to get through to the 15th february relativley unscaved and without having to re enact the scene from bridget jones- singing ‘all by myself’ and crying into a bottle of wine. I don’t think I’m quite there yet. I’m aware I’m now starting to sound like a bitter spinster so im gunna stop there but say who ever is celebrating today have a great day but please no more #tags and talks of bae buying you an island because he just loves you that much after 2 months. My eyes and ears can’t take the jealousy
Side note- if you do by chance love me, i enjoy prosecco, flowers and chocolate and im here all evening…